You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
