How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
