she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
