I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
