Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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