so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Let's paint friendship bongs
Watching her eat just hurts me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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