I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
