after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
