When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
