That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My ass is underappreciated
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
