He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
