But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
