I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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