So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
