Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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