True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
