if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
