just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
