Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
