Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
