New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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