I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
