Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
