Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
