two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
