Screwed.edu
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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