but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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