is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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