I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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