i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
