Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
