i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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