Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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