Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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