I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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