20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
