There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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