Apparently you make a good broom.
Just cropdusted the office
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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