trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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