Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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