Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
