she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
