there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize