So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
