I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize