if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Welp...herpes.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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