At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize