We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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