Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
