well I can't set my house on fire every night
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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