You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
