guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
do nipples grow back?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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