The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
