Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
