I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
