shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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