My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
