so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I don't think brook has ever known best
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
