Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We had sex on a dog bed..
When are your genitals available?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
