I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
